Andy Rooney tells it how it is

[ericgtr]

I picked this up from another forum, pretty funny read [img]images/smilies/smile.gif[/img]

Andy Rooney said on 60 minutes a few weeks back:

for those of you that don't know Andy Rooney, he is

an 82 year old US TV commentator)



I like big cars, big boats, big motorcycles, big

houses and big campfires.



I believe the money I make belongs to me and my

family, not some governmental stooge with a bad

comb-over who wants to give it away to crack addicts

for squirting out babies.



Guns do not make you a killer. I think killing

makes you a killer. You can kill someone with a

baseball bat or a car, but no one is trying to ban

you from driving to the ball game.



I believe they are called the Boy Scouts for a

reason, that is why there are no girls allowed.

Girls belong in the Girl Scouts! ARE YOU LISTENING

MARTHA BURKE?



I think that if you feel homosexuality is wrong, it

is not a phobia, it is an opinion.



I don't think being a minority makes you a victim of

anything except numbers. The only things I can think

of that are truly discriminatory are things like the

United Negro College Fund, Jet Magazine, Black

Entertainment Television, and Miss Black America.

Try to have things like the United Caucasian College

Fund, Cloud Magazine, White Entertainment

Television, or Miss White America; and see what

happens. Jesse Jackson will be knocking down your

door.



I have the right "NOT" to be tolerant of others

because they are different, weird, or tick me off.



When 70% of the people who get arrested are black,

in cities where 70% of the population is black, that

is not racial profiling, it is the Law of

Probability.



I know what sex is, and there are not varying

degrees of it. If I received sex from one of my

subordinates in my office, it wouldn't be a private

matter or my personal business. I would be "FIRED"

immediately!



I believe that if you are selling me a milk shake, a

pack of cigarettes, a newspaper or a hotel room, you

must do it in English! As a matter of fact, if you

want to be an American citizen, you should have to

speak English!



My father and grandfather didn't die in vain so you

can leave the countries you were born in to come

over and disrespect ours. I think the police should

have every right to shoot your sorry self if you

threaten them after they tell you to stop. If you

can't understand the word "freeze" or "stop" in

English, see the above lines.



I feel much safer letting a machine with no

political affiliation recount votes when needed. I

know what the definition of lying is.



I don't think just because you were not born in this

country, you are qualified for any special loan

programs, government sponsored bank loans or tax

breaks, etc., so you can open a hotel, coffee shop,

trinket store, or any other business.



We did not go to the aid of certain foreign

countries and risk our lives in wars to defend their

freedoms, so that decades later they could come over

here and tell us our constitution is a living

document; and open to their interpretations.



I don't hate the rich. I don't pity the poor. I

know pro wrestling is fake, but so are movies and

television. That doesn't stop you from watching

them.



I believe a self-righteous liberal or conservative

with a cause is more dangerous than a Hell's Angel

with an attitude.

I think Bill Gates has every right to keep every

penny he made and continue to make more. If it

ticks you off, go and invent the next operating

system that's better, and put your name on the

building. Ask your buddy that invented the Internet

to help you.



It doesn't take a whole village to raise a child

right, but it does take a parent to stand up to the

kid; and smack their little behinds when necessary,

and say "NO!"



I think tattoos and piercing are fine if you want

them, but please don't pretend they are a political

statement. And, please, stay home until that new lip

ring heals. I don't want to look at your ugly

infected mouth as you serve me french fries!



I am sick of "Political Correctness." I know a lot

of black people, and not a single one of them was

born in Africa; so how can they be

"African-Americans"? Besides, Africa is a

continent. I don't go around saying I am a

European-American because my great, great, great,

great, great, great grandfather was from Europe. I

am proud to be from America and nowhere else.



And if you don't like my point of view, tough.

DON'T PASS IT ON!!

[Sunnie]

I like the way Andy Rooney just tells it like it is. That's cool. Thanks for sharing that Eric.

[CanyonCarver]

Amazing how Andy Rooney and Ted Nugent often sound alike.
Read these over with Ted's face and delivery in mind and you'll get a chuckle!

and do the same with George Carlin...I'm glad to hear someone else thinks we should bulldoze the tree huggers if they're still chained to the tree when the Caterpillars come!