I know as much as we like to post in the "bar" thread, some of us have got to have some horrid tales of battle from getting sauced.
I'll start it off with one that I promised wip5150 I would post. Everybody's got a tequila story somewhere in their closet, and that's what this one is. Some 10-15 years after the fact, I am just now able to touch the stuff again. For a long time, I would get queasy just from the smell of it.
Anyway, here goes -
I was in my early twenties and my folks were out of town - we all know what that means -
PAR-TAY !!!!!! [img]images/smilies/icon_dance.gif[/img]
Everybody there was of legal age, so it's not like it was a cop-magnet or anything.
So, I've got about 20-30 people in the folks house and we are having a good ol' time. Nobody's out of hand, we're all past that point in our lives, because we all have been through the High School stage of experimenting with drinking and have learned our lessons......or have we?? [img]images/smilies/headscratch.gif[/img]
One of the things my buds and I were into at the time was doing shots of Peppermint Schnapps and chasing it with water. We called them "candy canes". What you did was take a swig/shot of the Schnapps and hold your breath as you chased it with a big gulp of water. That way you didn't really taste the liquor that much, and you had a real cool, refreshing "breath" after that. [img]images/smilies/icon_mrgreen.gif[/img] You could get pretty lit doing this, obviously - and it was a very "cost-friendly" way of getting your buzz on.
Here's where the tequila comes in - after we had been doing this for a couple of hours, some jackass suggests we do a few tequila poppers.
BAD IDEA. [img]images/smilies/icon_nono.gif[/img] As much as I protested, they talked me into doing one.
ONE. That's all it took to get the stomach screaming out disagreement. I ended up walking very coolly to my folks' bathroom, which was off of their bedroom, so that I wouldn't make a big scene. Let's face it, I knew I was about to talk to Ralph on the big white telephone. [img]images/smilies/icon_mad.gif[/img]
Well, it wasn't as simple of a procedure as i thought it would be, because I end up being in there for quite a while and they start noticing I'm gone. One dude, bless his heart, comes in to check on me and asks if I need a glass of water. I've got tears in my eyes and out of breath , and I'm going "Get the fuck outta here!!!" LOL (He didn't take it personally, btw - we still laugh about it to this day)
Anyway, after all the gastric turmoil is done, I decide I'm going to throw a bathrobe on and lie down in bed. I tell a couple of my buds that if I pass out, just to keep an eye on the house.
Well, as soon as I lay down, my body decides that the front-end turmoil wasn't enough, so I get back up, bathrobe and nothing else, to head for a nice quiet sit on the pot, right?
W-R-O-N-G. One of my best buds notices that I had gotten up and is checking on me, trying to walk in the bathroom. This time I'm screaming "Go awaaayyy...buck naked on the toilet...go aawwwaayyyy...." [img]images/smilies/icon_mrgreen.gif[/img] he says that to me every time we have a drink now.
So I'm finally ready to fall asleep, and my last images awake were of the family dog lying at my feet on the bed in pity, and this girl (one of the scariest ones there) coming in and kissing me on the forehead and telling me to go to sleep.
The next day was even weirder, because I get up and everybody had cleaned the house spotless, and locked the doors, etc. They had even let the dog out. I'm walking down the hall, and one of my buds shows up from crashing downstairs, and I had no idea he was there. he tells me that one guy that was there had actually crawled into the fireplace and sat indian-style "mediatating" [img]images/smilies/icon_confused.gif[/img] They had to clean up a whole trail of ashes behind him. LOL!
This friend of mine leaves, because I've got to get ready for work on a Sunday. I figure I've got about an hour and 15 minutes to shower and get dressed, maybe eat (ugh). he calls me ten minutes later after he gets home and reminds me that we had a time change overnight, so I now have all of 15 minutes to get my act together. [img]images/smilies/icon_eek.gif[/img]
I grabbed a banana, and let me tell you - that was a HUGE task getting that thing down. I manage to get to work with one minute to spare, and my co-workers let me know all day that I looked like death with two feet.
That was probably the last "big" lesson I ever learned regarding drinking to this day. I'm much smarter when I tip back anymore.
But... I have plenty of stories from
before that.... [img]images/smilies/icon_wink.gif[/img]
Threaded Mode