Interview With The Ulnarian

[The Ulnarian]

This should probably be in the interview section, but I can't seem to post there. Anyways, I managed to corner The Ulnarian in a back-alley dumpster after a show he did and using liberal doses of persuasion and threats of physical violence, I managed to coax an interview from the ordinarily reclusive pop-phenom guitarist! With out further ado, I am pleased to present, THE ULNARIAN, THE MAN, THE LEGEND, THE INTERVIEW!!!!!!




1. So Mr. The Ulnarian, you've gigged with everyone from Stryper, to Aerosmith, to Cab Calloway, to playing backup for the Funky Bunch, what are you doing with your free time nowadays?

-Thinking of ways to undermine the present status quo of the popular music world.



2. I take it that you are not pleased with the current state of popular music?

-No, the communications industry continually force-feeds the listening public huge servings of unpalatable garbage. The public deserves better. Of course it's not really the communications industry's fault, they are making do with what they have to work with, namely, with what the labels are providing them with.



3. And what are the record labels providing the mass media with?

-The seeds of the industry’s own destruction. Lately, the industry’s only concern is with driving down the cost of production. Why pay royalties to an entire 5-man band when you can cut one paycheck out to a rapper and his synthesizer and looping software? When the cost of production became the industry’s biggest concern, they started themselves off on a slow downward spiral towards bankruptcy. Sure you can drive down the cost of production to pennies on the album, but if you’re not spending the resources to develop the band to their fullest, you’re going to end up produce repetitious garbage. Consequently, fewer people are going to want to buy your albums and the industry is going to hurt. In short, the industry is no longer in the business of taking the risk of developing a band, and the more money they lose, the less risk the industry is going to take, a Catch-22 downward spiral. If the industry ever wishes to recover, it will have to take risks and offer something fit for human consumption.




4. Interesting, how do you feel about peer-2-peer file sharing; good or bad for the industry?


-They are neither good or bad, they are merely a reflection of the current status of our society. The way I see it, if millions of people out there wish to steal the intellectual property rights of others, then what we have in effect is a nation of thieves with low moral standards. Of course the industry is going to lose even more money from file-sharing, however, one has to take a hard look at themselves and ask whether a nation of thieves and low-lifes truly deserves to have the finer things in life, such as music and other artistry. Personally, I think we deserve to lose quality music given the current moral climate of this nation (America—not sure how proliferated file-sharing is in other nations).




5. That’s a little Draconian, don’t you think. What about the silent majority of people out there who actually pay the artist for their quality music?

-First off, I’m not sure if the silent majority is actually the majority. Secondly, whether it is good or bad, people who remain silent usually get treated kind of unfairly. So yes, they too will also lose the enrichment of great music unless they speak up against the thievery. Silent complacency has sounded the death knoll of more men and ideas than I can count. Sometimes people forget that they really do have the power.




6. So where did you get your name?


-I’ve got this ulnar nerve in my elbow that likes to pinch itself whenever I shred.





7. So who are your guitar heroes?

-Hmmm, as far as guitar heroes that’s hard to say. I’m not really much for "instrumental guitar music", with all that MEEDLEY MEEDLEY MEE!!!! I’ve always kind of been drawn to more "compositional" stuff, you know, like classical, and things with a 50 piece orchestra just kinda blaring out you from all sides. So that said, I guess my greatest hero is Danny Elfman. I hear a lot of myself in his music, his music is so in tune with my own stuff that it’s just creepy. He’s orchestrated, heavily produced, extremely dark, melodic and yet playful all at the same time, all the things I love in music. Plus the ¾ time sig just rules!




8. So where do you get the inspiration for your own tunes?

-Everywhere! You know, my favorite band is Mr. Bungle, and I figured if I wanted to be half as good as them, I would need to know a little bit about every genre of music. I’ve studied everything from classical, to death metal, to far-eastern, to calliope, to Hawaiian slack-key. I try to throw the unique qualities of those genres of music into my own stuff. Unfortunately, I know a little of everything and have mastered nothing, but, I’ve got plenty of time for that.




9. Man, your music is so crazy and whacked out that you must use drugs.

-Ok.




10. Err, do you use drugs?

-No, right now I am enjoying the quality of my life too much and drugs, in all forms, have been known to have a detrimental effect on one’s quality of life. I would need a really good reason to justify the intentional poisoning of my own body, and using drugs to possibly enhance the quality of my compositions is just not sufficient at this point in time. Besides, there are other, less toxic ways to achieve that altered state of consciousness in which your subconscious ideas are free to flow.




11. Such as?

-Sleep deprivation. I’ve got raging insomnia and I find that the most far-out compositions pop into my head after prolonged periods of sleep deprivation. I don’t know what it is, but there’s something about pushing your mind and body to exhaustion that allows for the creation of some really groovy music. It’s like the dream-world and collective "reality" converge into one and you then start to compose stuff from somewhere in the primordial regions of your mind. Actually, Jim Morrison and Mike Patton wrote much of their stuff in the same manner, I’m sure there’s others.



12. Well, times up, and I’ve got to go, any last comments?
-No.

[VanMan2000]

Meeeedley Meeeedley Meeeee? Sounds like someone's been to www.homestarrunner.com.

[The Ulnarian]

Strong Bad is da man!