joke

[DLYNN]

You know it just wouldn't be a great day without something to make you laugh. Thought you all would like this just as much as I did when I read it...

A Mafia Godfather finds out that his bookkeeper has screwed him for tenmillion bucks.

This bookkeeper happens to be deaf, so the Godfather brings along his attorney, who knows sign language.

The Godfather asks the bookkeeper: "Where is the 10 million bucks you embezzled from me?"

The attorney, using sign language, asks the bookkeeper where the 10 million dollars is hidden.

The bookkeeper signs back: "I don't know what you are talking about."

The attorney tells the Godfather: "He says he doesn't know what you're talking about."

That's when the Godfather pulls out a 9 mm pistol, puts it to the bookkeeper's temple, cocks it and says: "Ask him again!"

The attorney signs to the underling: "He'll kill you for sure if you don't tell him!"

The bookkeeper signs back: "OK! You win! The money is in a brown briefcase, buried behind the shed in my cousin Enzo's backyard in Queens!"

The Godfather asks the attorney: "Well, what'd he say?"

The attorney replies: "He says you don't have the balls to pull the trigger! [img]images/smilies/icon_lol.gif[/img] [img]images/smilies/icon_lol.gif[/img] [img]images/smilies/icon_lol.gif[/img]

[Mondy]

Stevie Wonder is playing a gig in Tokyo. After his second song, a fan jumps up and shouts, "<font color="orange">Stevie, Stevie, play a jazz chord !</font>"

Happy to oblige, Stevie picks an F Minor. He plays the chord and then plays a beautiful jazz fill over the top of it. He looks over to the fan, but sees that he looks rather annoyed.

"<font color="orange">No, no, Stevie !</font>", says the fan, "<font color="orange">Play a jazz chord, a jazz chord !</font>"

A little confused, Stevie Wonder picks A Major and plays his most inspired jazz riff over the top of it. The fan is really frustrated and yells...

"<font color="orange">No Stevie ! A Jazz Chord ! A Jazz Chord !!!</font>"

Stevie Wonder is annoyed himself now, and he says,

"<font color="pink">Look, I've just played two chords for you, with the most wonderful jazz fills over the top of them ! What is it exactly, that you want from me ??!!!</font>

To which the fan jumps on stage, grabs the mic and sings...

"<font color="orange">A Jazz Chord... To Say... I Love You...</font>"

[img]images/smilies/icon_lol.gif[/img]

[El_jalepeno]

Nice onew DLynn [img]images/smilies/icon_thumb.gif[/img] I don't get Mondy's [img]images/smilies/dunno.gif[/img] [img]images/smilies/icon_mrgreen.gif[/img]

[Mondy]

A guy comes home after a night out with a duck underneath his arm. He walks upstairs, where his wife is sleeping, still with the duck under his arm.

He enters the bedroom, and turns the light on. Sure enough, his wife wakes up.

"<font color="orange">What do you think of the pig ?</font>", he asks.

His wife sighs,

"<font color="pink">It's not a pig, it's a bloody DUCK !</font>"

To which the husband replies,

"<font color="pink">Excuse me, but I was actually talking to the duck !</font> "

[img]images/smilies/icon_lol.gif[/img]

[stingx]

Both are funny.

After watching Are You Being Served and Keeping Up Appearances for years, I get Mondy's humor [img]images/smilies/smile.gif[/img]

[Mondy]

Dig out The Fast Show if you can over there. Paul Whitehouse is a feckin genious !!!

[img]images/smilies/icon_bowdown.gif[/img]

[blahblah]

[img]images/smilies/icon_lol.gif[/img]