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Old 04-16-2006, 09:50 AM   #1
Harrison
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Men's Rules for Women


Here are some of Men's rule for women:

1. Men ARE not mind readers.

2. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down.
We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

3. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides.
Let it be.

4. Shopping is NOT a sport.
And no, we are never going to think of it that way.

5. Crying is blackmail.

6. Ask for what you want.
Let us be clear on this one:
Subtle hints do not work!
Strong hints do not work!
Obvious hints do not work!
Just say it!

7. Yes and No are perfectly Acceptable answers to almost every
question.

8. Come to us with a problem only If you want help solving it.
That's what we do.
Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

9. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.

10. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.
In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days.

11. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't
Expect us to act like soap opera guys.

12. If you think you're fat, you probably are.
Don't ask us.

13. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the
ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one

14. You can either ask us to do something
Or tell us how you want it done.
Not both.
If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

15. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during
commercials.

16. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.

17. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.
Peach, for example, is a fruit, not! A color. Pumpkin is also a
fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.

18. If it itches, it will Be scratched.
We do that.

19. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like
nothing's wrong.
We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

20. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an
answer you don't want to hear.

21. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear Is
fine...Really.

22. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared
to discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation,
or golf.

23. You have enough clothes.

24. You have too many shoes.

25. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!

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Old 04-16-2006, 11:31 AM   #2
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Harrison
2. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down.
We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.
Heh...when I run into that problem I just leave it down. I can't remember to put it down so I just don't move it to begin with...if it's down...well....even with great aim there is usually a drip or two.

End of problem
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Old 04-16-2006, 11:32 AM   #3
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ha ha a few of these got me laughing out loud lol
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Old 04-16-2006, 05:33 PM   #4
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Harrison
10. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.
In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days.
7 days man dont you think that is abit harsh it should be like 10 min
tops lol.

I cant even remember what ive said the day before
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Old 04-16-2006, 06:02 PM   #5
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Lol, I read these out loud to Janelle... lets hope she's listening
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Old 04-16-2006, 06:32 PM   #6
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Quote:
Originally Posted by POD GOD
Lol, I read these out loud to Janelle... lets hope she's listening
Yea I heard ya!!
Quote:
2. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down.
We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.
I have learned to do this!! I get some mad in the middle of the night when the seat is left up and I fall in...
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Old 04-16-2006, 07:32 PM   #7
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Janelle
Yea I heard ya!!

I have learned to do this!! I get some mad in the middle of the night when the seat is left up and I fall in...
LOL....From an honest mans perspective,The seat being left down can be a good thing!!

Just imagine waking up with a big ole boner and having to pee...If You try to stand and pee-pee traditional style You are going to splatter the back of the toilet,the wall next too it,the floor etc,etc...The other way You just sit down,tuck it under,pee and Your done....No mess,No problem!!

And Janelle I feel Your pain....Ive tried to sit when it was dark in the room and fallen in myself....What a backward society we live in ....LOL
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Old 04-16-2006, 07:42 PM   #8
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mewisemagic
LOL....From an honest mans perspective,The seat being left down can be a good thing !!

Just imagine waking up with a big ole boner and having to pee...If You try to stand and pee-pee traditional style You are going to splatter the back of the toilet,the wall next too it,the floor etc,etc...The other way You just sit down,tuck it under,pee and Your done....No mess,No problem!!

And Janelle I feel Your pain....Ive tried to sit when it was dark in the room and fallen in myself....What a backward society we live in ....LOL

Yes I agree the seat being left down can be a good thing too
I have to clean the bathroom every day!! LOL I live with 4 boys...I keep telling them to sit and tuck...but one of them still splatters? I must have the cleanest bathroom...MEN!!
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Old 04-17-2006, 07:58 AM   #9
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Old 04-17-2006, 01:55 PM   #10
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I am WOMAN! I make the RULES!
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Old 04-17-2006, 02:06 PM   #11
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Heres one of my rules...IF YOU WANT BREAKFAST IN BED,
SLEEP IN THE KITCHEN
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Old 04-17-2006, 03:34 PM   #12
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Cherry Lawn
I am WOMAN! I make the RULES!
We are guys and we break all the rules...so keep making them!
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Old 04-17-2006, 03:45 PM   #13
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mewisemagic
LOL....From an honest mans perspective,The seat being left down can be a good thing!!

Just imagine waking up with a big ole boner and having to pee...If You try to stand and pee-pee traditional style You are going to splatter the back of the toilet,the wall next too it,the floor etc,etc...The other way You just sit down,tuck it under,pee and Your done....No mess,No problem!!
I can't do that. First, depending on boner level it can hurt to "tuck" it. Second I don't like my member touching the inside of the bowl.

I just put my hand on the wall, take a few steps back leaning on the wall for support so I can get a good angle, and guess trajectory... Many a morning wood and I am actually a pretty good shot

The women certainly don't want me trying this with the seat down
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The more sex we have the more we want and the less sex we have the more we want.

“Debugging is twice as hard as writing the code in the first place. Therefore, if you write the code as cleverly as possible, you are, by definition, not smart enough to debug it.” – Brian W. Kernighan

When you find yourself at the bottom of a hole, stop digging.

I think in code: while(1) execute();

I'd rather die when I'm living then when I'm dead.
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Old 04-17-2006, 04:20 PM   #14
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Quote:
Originally Posted by nroberts
I can't do that. First, depending on boner level it can hurt to "tuck" it. Second I don't like my member touching the inside of the bowl.

I just put my hand on the wall, take a few steps back leaning on the wall for support so I can get a good angle, and guess trajectory... Many a morning wood and I am actually a pretty good shot

The women certainly don't want me trying this with the seat down
Yeah,The side of the bowl thing is kind of nasty!But the alternative is the head getting dunked in the water....And the water down here is cold buddy!
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Old 04-17-2006, 04:29 PM   #15
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mewisemagic
Yeah,The side of the bowl thing is kind of nasty!But the alternative is the head getting dunked in the water....And the water down here is cold buddy!
Shrinkage
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