03-03-2006, 09:12 AM
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#1
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101 Guru
Join Date: May 2003
Posts: 8,027
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One of my favourite jokes...
Not sure how well it will translate with the different nationalities, but fuck it, here goes...
A guy and his wife go into a restaurant.
The waiter, Ulike, comes up to them and says, "Hi, my name is Ulike, I am your waiter for this evening. The special for this evening is squid."
The guy decides he would like squid, so Ulike leads him over to a tank and asks him to choose. So the man says, "Err, I'll have that one, with the furry lip !"
"The mild green one, sir ?", says Ulike.
"Yes," says the man.
So Ulike scoops the squid out of the tank and takes it into the kitchen.
He raises the knife above his head, ready to strike down on the squid, and just as he's about to plunge the knife the squid looks up at him with it's big eyes and it's lip starts to quiver.
Ulike pauses for a while, and then tells himself to get a grip on himself and try again.
Again, he raises the knife behind his head, ready for a long swing, but again, the squid looks up at him with it's big eyes, which start to water, and it's lip starts to quiver.
Ulike soon realises that he is going to be unable to kill the squid, so he calls the dishwasher over.
"Hans !", he says, "Come here and help me !"
So over comes Hans, and Ulike explains that he is having difficulty killing the squid, and could he do it for him.
Hans says that it will not be a problem. He raises the knife behind his head but just as he is about to strike, again, the squid looks up at him with it's big eyes and it's lip starts to quiver.
Hans shakes his head, and tells Ulike that he cannot kill the squid either.
What's the moral of the story ?
[spoiler]Hans that do dishes is as soft as Ulike with mild green furry lipped squid ![/spoiler]
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03-03-2006, 10:34 AM
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#2
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I'm getting signals!
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: Englishman in Annecy, France
Posts: 1,134
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Doooh...I think only the brits are gonna get this one...But it's a good 'un. 
And where the heck do you get that "Spoiler" feature!?!
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Last edited by jimmerwoo; 03-03-2006 at 11:20 AM.
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03-03-2006, 11:54 AM
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#3
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101 Guru
Join Date: May 2003
Posts: 8,027
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This will show yer how to do it.
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03-03-2006, 11:58 AM
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#4
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Rebel XTi
Join Date: Mar 2004
Location: South Carolina
Posts: 5,806
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Mondy that was so GAY LOL jk.
Must be out of my league humor.....lol
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03-03-2006, 11:59 AM
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#5
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Yankees Suck!
Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: Massachusetts
Posts: 663
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Must be an inside joke for the Brits.
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Host of "100 Proof - Pure Grain Rock & Roll" - Thursdays at 10PM Eastern on ENGAGE Internet Radio
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03-03-2006, 12:27 PM
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#6
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Famous Artist
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: UK
Posts: 254
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Sure is!
It's a play on the theme tune to a well known brand of washing up liquid, the words (but not the tune) go
"Hands that do dishes stay as soft as your face, with mild green, Fairy Liquid"
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03-03-2006, 01:14 PM
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#7
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Resident Jackass
Join Date: May 2003
Location: Chicago, IL
Posts: 1,939
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I don't get it
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"There is a fine line between stupid and clever" - Nigel Tufnel
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03-03-2006, 01:52 PM
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#8
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101 Guru
Join Date: May 2003
Posts: 8,027
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by GNLidiard
Sure is!
It's a play on the theme tune to a well known brand of washing up liquid, the words (but not the tune) go
"Hands that do dishes stay as soft as your face, with mild green, Fairy Liquid"
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Hands that do dishes are as soft as you like, with mild green, fairy liquid |
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