The US Presidential Speech

[axeshredder]

WOULDN'T IT BE GREAT TO TURN ON THE TV AND HEAR ANY U.S. PRESIDENT, DEMOCRAT OR REPUBLICAN, GIVE THE FOLLOWING SPEECH?

My Fellow Americans: As you all know, the defeat of Iraq regime has been completed.

Since congress does not want to spend any more money on this war, our mission in Iraq is complete.

This morning I gave the order for a complete removal of all American forces from Iraq. This action will be complete within 30 days. It is now to begin the reckoning.

Before me, I have two lists. One list contains the names of countries which have stood by our side during the Iraq conflict. This list is short. The United Kingdom, Spain, Bulgaria, Australia, and Poland are some of the countries listed there.

The other list contains everyone not on the first list. Most of the world's nations are on that list. My press secretary will be distributing copies of both lists later this evening.

Let me start by saying that effective immediately, foreign aid to those nations on List 2 ceases immediately and indefinitely. The money saved during the first year alone will pretty much pay for the costs of the Iraqi war.
The American people are no longer going to pour money into third world Hell-holes and watch those government leaders grow fat on corruption.
Need help with a famine? Wrestling with an epidemic? Call France.
In the future, together with Congress, I will work to redirect this money toward solving the vexing social problems we still have at home. On that note, a word to terrorist organizations. Screw with us and we will hunt you down and eliminate you and all your friends from the face of the earth.
Thirsting for a gutsy country to terrorize? Try France, or maybe China.
I am ordering the immediate severing of diplomatic relations with France, Germany, and Russia. Thanks for all your help, comrades. We are retiring from NATO as well. Bon chance, mes amis.

I have instructed the Mayor of New York City to begin towing the many UN diplomatic vehicles located in Manhattan with more than two unpaid parking tickets to sites where those vehicles will be stripped, shredded and crushed. I don't care about whatever treaty pertains to this. You creeps have tens of thousands of unpaid tickets. Pay those tickets tomorrow or watch your precious Benzes, Beamers and limos be turned over to some of the finest chop shops in the world. I love New York

A special note to our neighbors. Canada is on List 2. Since we are likely to be seeing a lot more of each other, you folks might want to try not pissing us off for a change.
Mexico is also on List 2. President Fox and his entire corrupt government really need an attitude adjustment. I will have a couple extra tank and infantry divisions sitting around. Guess where I am going to put em? Yep, border security. So start doing something with your oil.
Oh, by the way, the United States is abrogating the NAFTA treaty - starting now.

We are tired of the one-way highway. Immediately, we'll be drilling for oil in Alaska - which will take care of this country's oil needs for decades to come. If you're an environmentalist who opposes this decision, I refer you to List 2 above: pick a country and move there. They care.

It is time for America to focus on its own welfare and its own citizens. Some will accuse us of isolationism. I answer them by saying, "darn tootin." Nearly a century of trying to help folks live a decent life around the world has only earned us the undying enmity of just about everyone on the planet. It is time to eliminate hunger in America. It is time to eliminate homelessness in America. It is time to eliminate World Cup Soccer from America. To the nations on List 1, a final thought. Thanks guys. We owe you and we won't forget.

To the nations on List 2, a final thought: You might want to learn to speak Arabic. God bless America. Thank you and good night. If you can read this, thank a teacher. If you are reading it in English, thank a soldier.

[nroberts]

Yawn...

Isolationism has destroyed every economy to try it. It's the primary reason why so many are starving in N. Korea. We simply cannot afford to do most of the stuff you are talking about leaving alone the philosophy behind it...it is just not practical and would ruin us.

The irresponsible application of power by hegimony has also been a primary reason for every war involving the whole of the known western world at the time. When a state that has no real competition decides to throw its weight around it has to be very careful or the rest of the world gangs up on it and beats it down...ask Germany, ask France, ask Spain. Without exception, throughout the history of the western world, no such state has survived such a battle no matter how well prepared or advanced they appeared to be. Severing diplomatic ties with everyone in the world is about the dumbest thing, strategically, that we could possibly do...you can't fight the world and win.

Common sense and self preservation alone should be enough to keep us from acting so stupidly. If a value of those around us and the other inhabitants of this world won't stop us then simply looking at history should scare us enough into remaining civil with the rest of the world community. If not then we are in for some very hard times ahead.

No, I think that is about the last thing I would want to hear from a president. If one did I probably would move because I'm not much into screwing myself up the ass...or watching a whole country do it for that matter. Fishing in New Zealand would look all the better.

[axeshredder]

Huh? ..........LMAO...its a joke

[Beka4MikE]

Blame Cananda!! Blame Canada!!!

Hey Axe I got the joke.......

[nroberts]

Originally Posted by axeshredder

Huh? ..........LMAO...its a joke

Well I hoped it was but I've heard such rhetoric from elsewhere and it wasn't in jest. So, I'm glad you're not insain...sorry for the misunderstanding

[The Ulnarian]

Oh, I don't know, China and Japan did pretty good with isolationism for a couple of THOUSAND YEARS or so Let's see far our world policing policy gets us

[bluesplayer]

I must say the French are a pack of F*****G W*****S ,for not supporting our invasion foces , anyway we were dead right to go into Iraq , and i think everybody knew pulling out was going to be a hard job . If we go now Iran will be in like a shot . The US and UK must stay . Its a hostile place for sure , but its a foothold in an area rich in minerals . Iraq was a third world country with massive Oil reserves . Like most third world countries , education is mostly non existant , so western involvement is crucial . We have to ride out this current bombing campaign , keep our forces kitted out with the best equipment , give them the best intelligence , stay focused on the job ahead and i think we may see significant improvement .

[ericgtr]

I don't agree that alienating other nations is anyone's best interest. The UN exists for a reason and if a majority of them agreed that going into Iraq was a mistake then that's how it should have been, or face it alone, as we did. It's an arrogant move as it is, then to turn our backs on those who didn't go along is not very smart at all. At some point or another we all need each other for one reason or another, we should try to remain united. Just my .02 on it