Women... why do you do this ???

[Mondy]

Hi there,

Before we start. Please bear in mind that this is NOT a sexist post. It is a little tongue in cheek, but I am genuinely interested in

1. Why women have this impeccable sense of timing
2. Whether any of you blokes also experience this, so I know I am not alone

So please, there is no offence intended here. Last thing I want to do is alienate myself from the female contingency of this website as you are amongst my strongest supporters of stuff I post here.



So here goes.

The other day, I had to move the futon (sofa bed / settee bed / dunno how else you Americans would refer to it / basically it's a sofa that transforms into a bed a la Optimus Prime) from the nursery / cat's room / spare room to my office / doss room / junk room in preparation for the arrival of the cot.

So, I tidy the office out and figure that I can perform the move without dismantling the sofa bed. It took me 3 hours to put the thing together in the first place and the instructions had gone missing, so I really don't want to spend the whole day dismantling it and trying to put it back together. So, I place the sofa bed into it's sofa position, an easy feat since you push two handles against the floor and the resistance springs it into it's sofa position. All it requires is the Transformer sound effect, but you can't have everything.

So I drag it out of the nursery and across the landing and into the office. I get the footrest.... no sorry, an arm rest, as it's in the sofa position, right.... through the door and it decides to spring back into the bed position. Even if it did have a Transformers sound effect, it wouldn't have cheered me up. This meant that I wouldn't be able to get the other arm rest.... oops, head rest, now it's in bed mode.... through the door.

What was really annoying is that since it was now in it's halfway in, halfway out position and up on it's side, it's damn near impossible to spring it back into sofa position since there's no resistance from the floor, gravity is naturally pulling it into bed position, and I can no longer grab hold of both of the handles.



So, of course, the swearing starts. I don't know what I am expecting. Maybe that the inaminate object will talk to me and explain to me why it decided to spring into bed mode at that precise moment, or provide me with an answer of how I'm going to get the rest of it through, or to explain to me why it's always me that this happens to ? Yet, these are the questions I yell at the futon nonetheless, flavoured with a flurry of colourful swear words, unfit for such a family orientated bulletin board...

Now, this is where the impeccable timing comes in. My wife walks up the stairs, takes one look at the difficult situation that I find myself in, and proclaims, "I though you'd have hoovered in there before you started to do that !"

Now, the hoover is located on the landing. I am in the office struggling with said futon, with no way of getting to the hoover, or even if I could, no way of getting the hoover into the room to perform the hoovering request.

To which I reply, "Well, obviously, I'm not, am I ?" Of course, I threw in the odd colourful tone and swear word, just for a nice effect, you know....

Well, that was that. A mini-arguement followed by me taking my anger out on the futon (although it did spring rather immediately into sofa mode) and finally getting into the office whereupon in order to get her out of her mood I did the hoovering.

All was well in the end, but it was that impeccable timing that I cannot get over.

The second time was when the cot turned up.

I unpack the cot, count all the contents, and arrange the pieces in order for construction.

Lo and behold, the cot is assembled in around three quarters of an hour with no loss of temper, no difficulty, and no inaminate object requests.

I'm just putting the finishing touches to it as my wife comes up the stair and with her impeccable timing says, "That looks great, so how do you adjust the height of it again ?"

Male species as I am, who does not possess "the know" when it comes to A Brief History of Cots and their interworkings, it has slipped me by that cots usually come with adjustable sides or an adjustable base so that the height is really high at the start and then you put the base on it's lowest setting once the baby is able to set up.

Also, the instructions did not have this information in bright red bold letters, so I kinda missed this information as I was following the diagrams for the most part which advised to attatch the base on it's lowest possible setting.

So, there follows a mini-discussion of how the cot is now fully assembled as per the instructions, there is no adjustments to be made. I am then given said lecture on "A Brief History of Cots and their interworkings" whereupon, on revisiting the instructions, it is apparent that this is, in fact, an adjustable cot, thus proving my wife right, yet again.

My wife informs me that it should be easy, as I should just be able to remove the base and then move it up and reattach it once again.

However, this isn't possible. The construction of the cot means that it has to be taken apart completely and reassembled with the base in the higher position. So I'm now faced with another 45 minutes of disassembly, and then another 45 minutes of reassembly. And it's a damn heavy cot as well.

My wife asks me, "You hate me, don't you ?" I reply with, "No, I just think you've got impeccable timing !"



However, once reassembled, the cot looks really, really cute and I am very pleased with it. Plus, I put the base on upside down and the footrest on the wrong way round, so would have had to take it apart and put it back together again, anyway, but didn't admit to this.

So there you have it. Impeccable timing. She should take up drumming !!!

[SLoB]

lol Mondola

simple m8, when it comes to boshing things together, get the missus involved in the first place, it will save you hours cos as you've found its impossible to get anything right in those instances heheh, had a chuckle at your post

[Rythameen]

LOL...............my wife is the same way. Don't try to figure it out, like most things where women are concerned, it shall reamain one of life's great mysteries.

[Cosman]

LMFAO!!!!

Try taking it up two flights of stairs that turn a corner and have it "pop" midway:-) Been there done that.

And they wonder why we want to "hide" in our studio and play that damn guitar all the time Because it's safe there and we can get something done without being attacked by funiture or snide remarks LOL. Ironically I have a futon mattress sharing the back of my "studio". Makes a great bass trap LOL.

cos:-)

[Mondy]

Originally Posted by Cosman

LMFAO!!!!

Try taking it up two flights of stairs that turn a corner and have it "pop" midway:-) Been there done that.

And they wonder why we want to "hide" in our studio and play that damn guitar all the time Because it's safe there and we can get something done without being attacked by funiture or snide remarks LOL. Ironically I have a futon mattress sharing the back of my "studio". Makes a great bass trap LOL.

cos:-)

I dunno mate. My studio suffers from the dreaded curse of M$ Window$ and every now and then Adobe Audition decides not to accept any input from the PODxt, whilst Cakewalk has no problems with it !!!



Cue the swearing and pleading with inaminate objects once again !!!

[Missy]

Hey Mondy babes , its a miraculas gift we have with timing, and be honest you just love it.


On the plus side for us though at least our timing is always after what you lot have done... where as most of men's timing is well before what we need....get my drift !!!!!