DB November Entry

[DannyBoy]

Well. i figured stuff it, i will throw something in here and see what happens. This is the vocal version of an old tune of mine. The instrumental version actually won MP3 of the month over a year ago in the Rocktober contest of 2004.

It's Called "Everyone Has Gone". I'm aware the mix isn't as clear as i would have liked(it is the MP3 version after all). But it stands up ok i think...

Hope someone likes it .

Lyrics:

Everyones Gone
Now you're left out here
all on your own
now the lights are dimming
it won't be long
till the hour is here

Don't turn away
stand and fight the monster
live another day
if you win there'll be cheer
and oh so much praise
all for you

CHORUS:
Stand your ground
whats lost is found
your life is bound
by sword and time
so FIGHT!

if this should be your fate
then dont worry you'll be
sent to a good place
where the angels watch and
take care of your needs
and you're treated like a king

But all is not what was
as the mountains crumble
stars fall from above
as the voices you hear
telling you your love
is near by

CHORUS X1

SOLO BREAK

Repeat CHORUS X1 to end.

[MusicIsNeat]

My constructive criticism:
1. This is perhaps the most coherent piece you have according to song form. My only suggestion according to song form is to perhaps add a bridge section that contrasts to the main theme. Or you could use a classic songwritting technique: When a section repeats itself, either add something or take something away. For example, you could double the melody on another instrument, perhaps a keybaord patch.
2. Hey, I know this one! It seems that many of your tunes are "works in progress", which is actually a good thing. The will to re-analize and re-structure one's own music is a good tool to make it better. This song has clearly metamorphasized beyond the original.
3. A live drum recording would help your recordings ALOT, but I totally understand why you aren't exactly in a position to do so. I myself am not in a position to do so.
4. In relation to being a dreamer, you clearly have developed your own playing style in comparison to a few years ago.
5. You have a good singing voice indeed.

[DannyBoy]

Originally Posted by MusicIsNeat

My constructive criticism:
1. This is perhaps the most coherent piece you have according to song form. My only suggestion according to song form is to perhaps add a bridge section that contrasts to the main theme. Or you could use a classic songwritting technique: When a section repeats itself, either add something or take something away. For example, you could double the melody on another instrument, perhaps a keybaord patch.
2. Hey, I know this one! It seems that many of your tunes are "works in progress", which is actually a good thing. The will to re-analize and re-structure one's own music is a good tool to make it better. This song has clearly metamorphasized beyond the original.
3. A live drum recording would help your recordings ALOT, but I totally understand why you aren't exactly in a position to do so. I myself am not in a position to do so.
4. In relation to being a dreamer, you clearly have developed your own playing style in comparison to a few years ago.
5. You have a good singing voice indeed.

1. I hear ya. I am always doubling up melodies as you likely hear in this tune. Adding a bridge seemed to totally skip my mind for some reason. possibly cause it would be really long if i did. I kinda see the Solo as the bridge. But you are right it could do with one. If you listen to the vocals. The first chorus has 2 lower vocals. 2nd chorus has one low and one high. 3rd chorus has 2 high. this was to make some sort of build up evident. but overall i agree and if/when i update it again in the future i will certainly take your advice on board.

2. yeah i often update older stuff. Stuff that i was particularly proud of first time around that i want to do justice. Like Artists Pain and this tune for 2 good examples. trying to strive to make them the best i can make them be. so thanks

3. Yeah i really cant do live drums. I am however getting to some degree of quality using the keyboard. I am finding new ways to mix and EQ them and i am finding ways of "playing" different fills and stuff on the keys themselves. Making do with what you have is always fun though i find. Squeezing the best out of things is something i enjoy doing. even if i do complain about it from time to time haha.

4. Well thanks mate. It's really a culmination of me taking my favourite bits of guitarists/bands i have admired since i started playing. Hendrix, Tremonti, Vai and Malmsteen and Romeo (sort of) have all contributed something to my playing. But beneath it it's me. and it will always be me. i have my own licks and my own runs and sweeps that i use. I have my own idea how a solo should go and i have my own certain style of putting it like that. People have been kind enough to tell me that when they hear me start playing in a jam they know its me straight away. It makes me truly happy to see people say that. Because arrogance aside i think its true. That isnt to say im the best because im certainly not. But im me. and i wouldnt change that for anything.

5. i have an adequate singing voice . but thankyou. limited range and a fairly monotonous (at times) sound means my vocals never go well with rockier tracks. But i try.

Thanks dude. appreciate you taking time to listen and form constructive advice

[verga]

Hey Danny, i liked your song. Its a great piece and your voice was like the singer of some band i cant remember.... As another sugestion, i think the 1st section of the song could pe played with a clean guitar to emphasize the chorus and the next verse in a more dramatic way instead the heavy background distorted riff in every section. Cool entry

[DannyBoy]

i considered that. but decided against it. i do alot of clean building into heavy style tunes and it's not what i wanted in this one. Wanted a nice intro and then straight into the action. Thanks for checking it out though.

[Goport]

Danny - this is a bloody good song with a decent arrangement. I don't like the chugging guitars because it clashes with the vocal style imho. but I can live with it. The song needs to be mixed better and it needs a bass badly - then it will be something really special.

Great job

[DannyBoy]

It's somewhat ironic that i used to complain about a lack of constructive criticism. Because now it is all i seem to get. Theres more pointing out the faults than there is looking at the better sides. In all honesty i am fully aware of any fault anyone can possibly name. And although i appreciate it i suppose it serves me right . oh well. I'll shut up n take what i get in future.

I do appreciate people checking it out and commenting though of course.

[Goport]

I like wounding you Danny

Seriously though - it is a great track and a cool entry. I just want to hear it presented a little better (production wise.) But rest assured I will vote objectively and not on what sounds the most polished

[DannyBoy]

Originally Posted by Goport

I like wounding you Danny

Seriously though - it is a great track and a cool entry. I just want to hear it presented a little better (production wise.) But rest assured I will vote objectively and not on what sounds the most polished

Yeah i agree. The mix was fine until i added vocals though. Once they went in it got a bit muddy. It isn't THAT bad. Nowhere near as bad as this debate over it is making it seem lol. But i am aware the mix could be better. Hopefully when Geordie does his vocals for it they will slip in better. Might ask art to mix the vocals into it infact... cause hes a genius. Asked him if he would consider redoing this entire tune for me but once i got to the stage before i added vocals i thought it was a pretty good effort on my own. Will see what happens anyway. Thanks mate.

[Goport]

I agree it ISN'T a bad mix. I just think you have stepped up through the gears with your songwriting, playing and vocal performance and it is only the mix that I can critique. this is a great song PERIOD.

[MusicIsNeat]

"I kinda see the Solo as the bridge."
Not a bad point.

[Geordie]

[Stiglar]

I think this is a cool tune danny , solo was great. . and theres some cool guiatrs in there during the singing .. i think you really need to bring out that melody line though crank the highs on your deep voice and try and give it it's own space in the eq if that makes sense it gets a bit lost on my speakers and i was a bit cut cause i thoguht the melody was cool !

good job though

[DannyBoy]

Originally Posted by Stiglar

I think this is a cool tune danny , solo was great. . and theres some cool guiatrs in there during the singing .. i think you really need to bring out that melody line though crank the highs on your deep voice and try and give it it's own space in the eq if that makes sense it gets a bit lost on my speakers and i was a bit cut cause i thoguht the melody was cool !

good job though

Thanks Stig. I actually wrote this one over a year ago now. Always wanted to do it right. I thought i had got pretty close here but people are finding a hell of alot of problems with it unfortunately. Glad you liked the solo, i was pretty pleased with that one myself. Went through it a few times and then pressed record. Tone came out piercing in parts. In a good way though i think...

As far as "cranking the highs on my deep voice" goes... i can't. My voice is limited as far as range goes. I do try to tell people this but they don't seem to pay attention when i try and explain that i can't sing very well in this sort of context of song.

As far as mixing goes. I guess i will say it yet again... the mix was pretty good until the vocals went in lol. I'm not a great mixer. i dont claim to be. I am learning each time and doing the best i can with what i have.

It's easy for people to say i need to upgrade to new things and get a new soundcard. I also need new gear that isn't so noisey. New pickups and a new amp. Do you know how much all that shit costs? . It's alot of money you guys. I simply can't afford to update anything right now. Pickups on the next thing on my list and after that i will start saving when i get a job for a new laptop maybe. And then get myself some new recording programmes.

The point i try and get across is... using what i have to the best of my ability and in many cases to the best of its ability is what i do. It's pretty much the only thing i can do right now. When people pull apart my tunes as far as "the mix" goes it's fair enough but i have heard it all before. You come over here and using what i have see if you can do any better.

It's a fary cry from back in the "sound recorder" days though let me tell you. Bags of hiss and no way to get rid of it. Bass farts everywhere lol.

It's just somewhat dissheartening when you spend what feels like an age on a tune and then post it up with high hopes people will like it. only to see a stream of ways to make it better. Wether it is because those people want to hear it better cause they like it. or wether they think it needs to sound better till they will like it i dont know. But ba!... i'm trying. honest. Theres only so much i can do with what i have. really...

[MusicIsNeat]

"As far as "cranking the highs on my deep voice" goes... i can't. My voice is limited as far as range goes."
I somewhat agree with Stiglar - as a matter of EQ.
But I differ on "highs".
According to what I gather, you want high MIDS for a vocal track.
The conventional wisdom I know of says that somewhere between 1.5k and 3k is the sweet spot. Closer to 3k for female voices, and often around 2k for male voices. Although this presents an issue if there is a guitar track, as the conventional wisdom is also that that same frequency range is quite important for guitar.
Anyways, enough with the frequency talk.