Hi there,
I went out last night for a girl from work's (who is very lovely, I will miss her very much [img]images/smilies/icon_ball.gif[/img]) leaving do.
Anyway, me and a colleague (yep, corporate as you like), got into a "discussion" over who was the most popular. His arguement was that I was stuck in the 80s, and that no-one has heard of
Van Halen. Whereas
Corn, with a
K (that's what he kept saying), were far more up to date, and
if you asked anyone the question, "Korn vs Van Halen, which do you prefer" , then everyone will naturally answer with
Korn, because they are more modern and more popular.
Well, I'm not one to shirk away from the opportunity to make a dick of myself in public, and if you dangle such a carrot in front of my face, then how can I refuse ?
Well, the women returned from the restaurant. Us guys had enforced our "
eating is cheating" beliefs by remaining in the pub, so we hadn't joined them. Anyway, I didn't allow for any flow of conversation to start, and jumped in there with my question straight away, saying, "
Girls, I have a question for you, Korn or Van Halen, which do you prefer ? "
The first girl to reply said, "
Van Halen ? They did Jump. didn't they ? Oh, I love Jump !"
Anyway, my colleague said, "
See ? You're stuck in the 80s mate. The only song anyone has ever heard of is Jump !"
The girl then blurted out, "
Why Can't This Be Love ? !!!, they did that too yeah ? I remember that one too ! " Whereas technically, he had some form of arguement, in that these two songs are both from the 80s, this was lost on my colleague, albeit due to me questioning the women with, "
So how many Korn songs can you name ? "
This was meant with numerous blank looks, until one girl said, "
Korn ? Isn't that a meat substitute [img]images/smilies/headscratch.gif[/img] ?"
I pissed myself laughing at this, to which my colleague counter-attacked with : "
You can laugh, I mean, Van Halen. come on, it sounds fucking DUTCH !"
I looked at him, blankly as I said, "
That's because Van Halen ARE Dutch"
Then one girl later said, "
I'm sorry, I thought you were asking, Porn vs Van Halen and I didn't want to get in on that conversation, because obviously, the answer would be PORN"
[img]images/smilies/jot.gif[/img] I made a mental note to ensure I sat next to her on the next work do... [img]images/smilies/jot.gif[/img]
Anyway, the barmaid comes to collect our glasses. I say to her, "
Love, we've never met, have we ? " She looks at me as though I am barking mad (fair play), and responds with "
......Errrrrr........ No ? "
"
Good ", I says, "
Do you mind if I ask you a question ? "
She said that I could ask, and so I reiterated the question of
Korn vs
Van Halen, to which she responded with, "
Hmmm, I can't say I've ever heard of Korn, but I like some of the Van Halen stuff..."
[img]images/smilies/woot.gif[/img]
We leave the pub, and I'm smoking a cigarette whilst walking down the street. A guy stops me and asks for a light. I say, "
Sure mate, providing you can give me the answer to a question.... "
"
No problem ! [img]images/smilies/icon_thumb.gif[/img] ", the guy says. So I relay the question to him. "
Can't say I've ever heard of Korn, mate, but Van Halen have done some cool stuff. "
I laugh, as we continue our walk to the
Purple Turtle, which has a late license. Now, the
Purple Turtle is notorious for three things:
- Underage drinkers
- Rocky music
- Late license
As we approach the
Purple Turtle, based on the belief that the Underage drinkers are in touch with today's music scene, my colleague boisterously declares, "
I'm gonna wipe the fucking floor with you in here, mate, no-one will have heard of Van Halen ! [img]images/smilies/icon_lol.gif[/img] "
Well, as we walk in, I test the water by questioning the bouncer. He says that he has heard of them both. I ask him what his preference is. Hs response was, "
Well, as Korn are a crock of shit, it's obviously Van Halen ! On top of that, the guy's a fucking legend ! "
My mate, who is getting more and more pissed off with me winning every battle quickly enters the pub.
Well, we ge the beers, and my colleague tries to restore parity by stating, "
See ? They's playing Linkin' Park ! Not Van fucking Halen ! " I responded with, "
Are you sure it's not Korn ? It sounds like shit ! ??? "
Anyway, everyone laughs. We get our drinks and go outside. There's a bunch of kids in the corner all dressed in grunge gear - baseball caps, oversized hooded tops, and combat trousers. My colleague says, "
There ! That guy in the corner, he's a Korn fan, for sure ! "
So, ready to finally taste defeat, I walk over to the group of youngsters, stationed in the corner. I open the conversation with...
"
Yes, I'm shit-faced, and I apologise for sabotaging you conversation, however, if you could spare a few seconds, I'd just like you to answer a question for me... "
"
Sure ! ", they all say.
So I ask them for their opinion. At the top of their voices, they answer, "
Van Halen, man ! Who the fuck are Korn ? Isn't that a meat substitute ? "
[img]images/smilies/icon_lol.gif[/img]
Well, it was great to hear from such youngsters. They then went on to ask me about
Queen,
Guns 'n' Roses,
Whitesnake,
Nirvana, and
MeatLoaf [img]images/smilies/icon_confused.gif[/img].
Needless to say though, I had to keep steering the conversation back to the debate in question.
My colleague finally admitted defeat, and went and got me a beer in recognition of all things
Van Halen.
Anyway, I thought you guys might get a laugh out of it, and might be interested in youth of today's perception of music. Mind you, with all these people having heard of
Van Halen, how the fuck a
Van Halen tribute band struggles to be popular is beyone me !
[img]images/smilies/headscratch.gif[/img]
I am suffering this morning though. The tequilas were a bad idea, but
Van Halen weren't !!!
[img]images/smilies/icon_thumb.gif[/img]
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