Echo of tears

[BLACKWiNG]

I walk down the street

alone in the park
with no one to talk
alone in the dark

afraid of the dark
araid of the past
afraid of the lies
i believed would last

In an echo of tear
with a mind that fears
in an echo of tears
i wish you were here
lying in my arms

moments have flown
without a trace
i close my eyes
just to see your face



(still working on the rest of the songs)

[Midnight_Rider]

I like it that you used good rhyme schemes, not just the starndar ABAB,AABB,ect. Deep too, a great start

[Badams]

Man if I were you I'd write a chorus and call it good.
A song doesnt have to be long and sometimes that wrecks them. They turn into short stories and nobody even remembers what it was all about.
Personally I find it easier to write a song around the hook line which comes first and not vice versa. It can be done the other way though.
Good job.