new here, sample of my ramblings

[Bennett]

Hey everyone. It's nice to have a place to get people's opinions on my lyrics, when I try them on my friends, they just say,"that's deep man". I don't know if thats good or bad. Anyway here's something I wrote one night a couple weeks ago. :

When I am dreaming
Don't have to be sleeping
When I awaken
My joy has been taken
Sometimes I try reading
Stimulation I'm needing
If I am to survive
This eternity drive
For this road that I travel
Is twisted and narrow
And hazards are plenty
With wounds that bleed sorrow

Let me know what you guys think.

[wahwah]

Yeah, that is DEEP. It's hard to know what stuff comes across without music but thats the guitarist speaking...I always work on lyrics last so they tend to be driven by what sound I've made...if that makes sense. Nice with the 'wounds that bleed sorrow' line...

[Goport]

yip, it is deep but there is some decent imagery here, I particularly like the "eternity drive, for this is the road ..." bit

[MattM]

pretty good use of words. deep meanings....nice.

[Bennett]

Thanks guys. I'm usually a little nervous about letting people other than my close friends read my stuff. It's nice to hear encouraging comments from experienced people. Thanks again.

[Geordie]

DEEP !!!!