What you teach me

[wigrocks]

These are words written about my soon to be 2 year old daughter. I wrote a lullaby for her before she was born, sort of a wish of what I hoped to be for her. A couple years later now, I felt a follow up was due, as I've been reflecting about the past 2 years and how wonderful they have been.


Ageless, opinion free
Gain less, happy just to be

Thoughtful, bringing peace
Youthful, such simple needs

From your young soul shines this brightest light
Guides me home to read to you tonight
My greatest moment, seeing me in you, and you in me

Breathless, songs of me
Endless, strength you see

Blissful, in your deeds
Playful, in your speech

From your young mind shines this brightest light
Guides me home to read to you tonight
My greatest moment, seeing me in you, and you in me

My great reminder,
of who it is I should be
When I see me in you, and you in me

Weightless, mind set free
Countless, joys between

Thoughtful, bringing peace
Youthful, such simple needs

[Goport]

You manage to put your emotions into words in a very impressive manner. I love the sentiment but I really like the way you have avoided the "I love you, you're beautiful" type of affair and actually produced something that is poetic on an adult level. That probably hasn't come over right but I hope you get what I mean

[wigrocks]

Thanks so much Goport, as always you are very kind and it’s greatly appreciated. I don’t think your comments have been taken the wrong way at all. In fact, you help validate my goals in writing this. Firstly, I hoped not to be too cliché, where that may have possibly been the case in the lullaby that proceeded this piece. As it’s extremely personal in nature, I wanted the sentiment to be expressed in a way that I hadn’t heard or read before. As well, I hope this piece is something that as an adult, my daughter can read and has increased meaning for her, perhaps having her own children someday (many many many years from now, don’t want to get there any time soon, from baby to toddler has been hard as it is. You just don’t want them to ever grow up). Thanks again!

[Goport]

I am glad I read this correctly. as you say, it reads well to adults and that is something which will help make this timeless. The reasons for my comments were simple - I believe the printed word is far more revealing than any tune posted on G101. What is impressive about this room is people are brave enough to post words of an emotive nature and be judged by them. I am not kind for the sake of it but so far everything I have seen posted has been well realised and good. As poetry some would be found wanting (all of mine would) but as lyrics many of the words here are better than the generic rubbish that is pumped out of radio stations on a daily basis.

For the record - this is a beautiful poem. it is something I am entirely comfortable to read and yet it still gets the emotion across. Feel proud.

[wigrocks]

Goport - I have to agree, that there are great written works in this room, and they run circles around the wording I hear in a lot of radio material. It's hard not to seem too complimentary, but if the pieces are good, they're good. To see so many members posting is pretty inspirational too, in light of the fact that the written word is so revealing, as you said. For myself, the positive feedback I've recieved for some of the lyrics I've posted, is helping me look to the next step, and create the music to accompany those words. It's not always typical for myself to have words first, and the music second, but seems to be the case with the more personal material. I'm starting a band now that is more punk/alternative. I think the music for some of the writings I've posted here calls for a different genre type, so I'll have to adapt to a different style and practice more on some other instruments, bass, keyboards etc... Easier said than done.