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Discussion Starter #1 (Edited)
UPDATE: I have been playing around with this tune so I decided to repost it. I revised the old thread because it seems silly to do a now one.

This is possibly the most un "Rawk" song ever posted here :lol:

First off this is a work in progress but it stands up pretty well. I have been warned off posting songs by a few people of late because they reckon I might have a future in the business :wtf: and I dont want to suffer at the hands of "thieves" so instead I decided to post an in progress song.

This is a pretty tune with a pretty grim story subject - basically it is about one of my sister in laws friend who cuts herself. No one knows why she does it but she can't stop. I met her a few years ago and she was a lovely girl and the cutting thing has always stuck in my mind. Lately I lost a friend who committed suicide and it has had me a little "out of sorts" and set me to thinking about this girl for some reason. Anyway the tune is very upbeat and aimed at reflecting all is not lost for her.

And for completely unrelated reasons I dedicate this song to Laceguitarplayer - nothing to do with the subject matter but I owe it to Janell because I was supposed to be doing a collab with her and my private issues got in the way. Sorry Janell.

As for the song - it is possibly the most analogue tune I have done, inasmuch as I recorded Percussion (thats me on the shaker) Bass, guitars and vocals. The only programming is the drums.

I am very interested in your opinions on the track and any suggestions to improve the final version would be most welcome. TIA
 

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I GARAWWWNTEE!!!!!
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Goport, this is simply one of the most beutiful songs i've had the pleasure of listening to here. Structure is awesome in this. Now, I know you said it's a little incomplete, but really, the only thing I would say do is maybe have the acoustic strumming right from the start, just kinda filling behind the track a little, then when it comes in on the chorus there at 1:30, oh man!!, thats goose bumps !!. Also, on the outro, where the harmonies start that overspeak style( don't know any other way to say it) Well, that just puts the icing on it for me!!! Superb job sir....:icon_thum :icon_peac p.s I got so caught up in the lovliness of the tune, that I wanted to mention the fact that the subject matter, albeit somber, is something that should not be taken lightly. Your use of this in song,well, kudo's bro......
 

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Discussion Starter #3
Thank you JPF. it is a difficult subject matter to handle without prejudging the people who do it. I have really tried to be open minded in some of my other songs but this one was a bit difficult to approach. Oddly for me the lyric came before the music and although it seems a bit perverse to back it with such a happy tune it felt right.

Good idea about the guitars all the way through. I did think of a ska/reggae type rhythm for the middle 8 passage. But the reason why I went for the spartan arrangement is because I tend to throw too much in to the mix most times. Ill definately consider it though. Many thanks for your reply :)
 

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What can you say about this tallented guy... great song once again Porty... Top notch lyrics top notch song loved it :icon_thum
 

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Discussion Starter #6
Thanks a bunch you two. Always means a great deal to me to have people check out my stuff. Especially since I am not a rocker like most on here. Many thanks indeed.
 

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Porty...sheesh man you really put out some great stuff. It is always a guarantee that you are going to produce great tracks man! Loved the small bass solo you threw in there...I bet KC rocker is getting his rocks off listening to that ha ha ha

Great job bud!
 

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Discussion Starter #8
lolol! Thanks Mike. I think KC is probably laughing his ass off at my nerve of attempting a bass middle 8. :thumb:
 

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I am a meat popsicle
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Sir Lawrence Goport!! I would buy this album just for this song!! It's definetly my taste!! Powerfull harmony hook!! This was all Pro Hall of Fame stuff!!! Brilliant and outstanding!!
 

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Discussion Starter #11
I am really humbled. Thank you both for the praise. I don't deserve it. It is just me trying to figure out something I don't understand. But I am incredibly flattered. Thank you.
 

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Bro...you are amazing!!!! Man, I wish I had your talent!!!:bowdown: You MUST start shopping your songs......they are way too good to be unheard by the masses!!!!:woot: :woot:
 

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Discussion Starter #14
Thank you Boss man:bowdown:and Thank you Robbie sir :thumb:
 

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Valhalla is coming !!!!!
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Nobody can ever accuse Goport for not been Original , this is like nothing ive ever heard before . Scary subject , comes accross with humour , im sure if anybody else had sung this ,it would come out like Alice Cooper !.It has a Beatles White Album kind of feel , like Bungalow Bill . Porty has a splendid voice that can enhance any lyric .I like lots of things in this track , when the ride cymbal comes in at 00:10 , small detail but makes a big difference .Bass line is tight and very neat . Harmonies cut in nice a clear , you can hear every word , and they sound melodic . Acoustics are really class , great tone , soft , with a real gentle woody tone . The little Bass solo gives breating space , its very fluent .I do like the tone of your Voice Goport , nice gentle reverb , i like the Voice improv at 03:30 , yeah this is a great post Porty , your tunes are setting benchmarks for all of us , Class !:thumbup: :icon_thum
 

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Discussion Starter #16
bluesplayer said:
Nobody can ever accuse Goport for not been Original , this is like nothing ive ever heard before . Scary subject , comes accross with humour , im sure if anybody else had sung this ,it would come out like Alice Cooper !.It has a Beatles White Album kind of feel , like Bungalow Bill . Porty has a splendid voice that can enhance any lyric .I like lots of things in this track , when the ride cymbal comes in at 00:10 , small detail but makes a big difference .Bass line is tight and very neat . Harmonies cut in nice a clear , you can hear every word , and they sound melodic . Acoustics are really class , great tone , soft , with a real gentle woody tone . The little Bass solo gives breating space , its very fluent .I do like the tone of your Voice Goport , nice gentle reverb , i like the Voice improv at 03:30 , yeah this is a great post Porty , your tunes are setting benchmarks for all of us , Class !:thumbup: :icon_thum
Me original? I don't really think of myself as original to be honest. Yeah the subject matter is a bit on the morbid side but as you say I tried to lighten it up with the mood of the song and even I can see the Beatles in this. Actually, every song that I have used 7th chords in get a Beatles comparison - there is a lesson for me there. Actually I think it is probably the bass line that pushes this in a beatles direction. Thanks for all the comments Bluesplayer; you are always very precise in your remarks to me and I appreciate the effort :thumb:
 

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Really good stuff mate. The fact that you take this stuff from the bottom up and do the lot is enough to impress the crap outta me. I'm still trying to get my drum programming sorted out and I need to get a bass sorted but even then, it's a struggle to get anything as cohesive as this together...fruition from A to Z. Well done mate. :thumb:
 

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Discussion Starter #19
NandK - thanks mate, the twin leads idea was pure accident - I had two takes and played them both together to see which one fitted the song and realised they worked quite well together. I redid them to clean them up and left them both in :)

Wahwah - Many thanks indeed. I actually enjoy the drum programming these days. It is not the chore it seems. As for bass - man that is a completely new ball game :lol: I am totally in love with the bass. The very nature of the thing. Fingerstyle especially.
 
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