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excess to requirements
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Discussion Starter #1 (Edited)
This is really the most daunting project I have undertaken. It is a long story as is always the case with me :D But in essence I was going to write a song about a guy put in a rest home by his kids and it became something completely different. Halfway through I got an idea of two peopel meeting in a rest home and getting married but decided to make it more generic.

The song has now taken a much darker twist. It is about two people getting married. The woman was beaten in her previous relationship and her new husband was married to someone who spent his money and ended up leaving him for another man. I know this sounds grim but the idea is that the newlyweds don't have to consumate the relationship because they have both been there before. Instead they talk. The point is, it is a declaration of trust between them. This is about finally achieving quality of life. The marriage is based not only on love but also respect. The niavity and wonder may have gone but this is about building a relationship. Heavy stuff.

And it was a difficult one to write because I have never been in either situation. So I hope I haven't trivialised anything about the subject matter. I have a tune for it but it is going to take some time. I am sure the lyrics will change again because some of it is a bit clumsy as it stands. But I like the hope and theme of the song.

Here is the song http://www.guitars101.com/vb/attachment.php?attachmentid=15264

Anyway here are the words,

The 2 of Us
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Joined with a plastic rose and silver ring, A second chance for happiness
Exchanging vows we clip our wings, We hope for much to line the nest
You, my bride mean everything to me, life to you has been so very cruel
but I promise its not sympathy, what draws me close to you.

And it seems it’s just the two of us, Fate is fickle with the knife
Chewed up and trampled in the dust, Destined to a modest life
This is our celebration, I’m not content to just exist
And we deserve to feel elation, to justify all that we’ve missed

No more bruises
No miscarriages
No spite or malice
Nothing can hurt you, nothing can hurt you

Splendour and good fortune have passed us by, But we’re not bound by circumstance
We can raise ourselves a family, Give them all a chance
I know that you are scared to trust again, But I can help you to forget
All the bruises, memories and pain, There’s no need to feel regret

No more bruises
No miscarriages
No spite or malice
Nothing can hurt you, nothing can hurt you
 

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Great stuff. The meter could use some adjustment here and there, but that may work itself out when you record.

Nice job.
 

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excess to requirements
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Discussion Starter #5
thanks Rythameen - it is all a mish mash of what I grew up with I guess. :)
 

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Discussion Starter #7
whoops -it is up again now :)
 

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Goport this is really terrific and has landed so well with music and word... Thanks for putting it back up there... i couldn't hit it the first time i saw this post, and thought it was something on my end, so I was eager to finally get a listen, well worth the wait. Great great jog.
 

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Discussion Starter #9
Thank you wigrocks. This really was the hardest song I have done to date. It is wierd, all the early stuff was fun and fairly light hearted but this - this is possibly the most affecting thing I have done to date. The melody is not the easiest feel comfortable with - but it something I am very proud of. I am very pleased from your input to this thread and the private messages, it confirms my belief that this is the best track I have recorded. Thank you sir.
 

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Goport said:
Thank you wigrocks. This really was the hardest song I have done to date. It is wierd, all the early stuff was fun and fairly light hearted but this - this is possibly the most affecting thing I have done to date. The melody is not the easiest feel comfortable with - but it something I am very proud of. I am very pleased from your input to this thread and the private messages, it confirms my belief that this is the best track I have recorded. Thank you sir.
Goport- I think the melody, you should surely be very proud of. The whole piece is deserved of that. There is the age old "write about what you know". Which is very sound advice, but also very safe. I admire your courage to go outside of your own experiences or style thus far and try something different. That is probably the intangible aspect that I am the most impressed by. The attempt itself without notice to the results is worthy of praise, but to "stick the landing"... That's the stuff that escalates a musician/songwriter. "Top" notch piece. :thumbup: I'm very happy if anything that I had to share was helpful in anyway. Making mention of that means a lot.
 
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